Friday, July 8, 2011

I was in a bathroom stall at church the other day and I heard this conversation going on next to me that really made me smile.  It was something like this:

Mommy: Come here, wait, not there, here, no wait, keep your hands at your side, don't touch anything at all.

Child: babble, babble, on and on about her story of some ladie's hair in the hall way being pretty like her mommie's.

Mommy:  Yes, she does have pretty hair.  Can we hurry up please?  We don't want to be late.  Do you still need to pottie?

It went on the entire time, and then moved to the sink where more directions and less listening were happening.

I stood there waiting my turn to wash my hands and letting them go ahead of me while I enjoyed the fact that my days do not consist of those conversations, and they have not for a very long time.

I complimented the mother on doing a great job and told her it will go by very quickly.

It amazes me how any of us really have the energy to raise little children.  There is truly only one way we get through it.  The love we have for our children is enough to make us talk in simple terms the  rules and guidelines for at least 5 years to each child before they start to catch on to what we are trying to say.  And then, we never truly are sure if they do catch on.  Especially in the teen age years.
We just keep babbling.
Because we love them enough to say things 1 million times until they finally hear us.

I came across this picture the other day while cleaning and it brought a smile to my face.  How do the years go by so quickly?  Did I take the time to enjoy the minutes I should have?  Or did the stress of the moment keep me from making eye contact and connecting like I should have with my kids?  I am afraid to know the true answer to that.

Circa 2002  Jessica 12 and Julie 7  Me, fakely blond.  

Last night at 10:00pm it dawned on me that I was going to call my daughter during the day to see if she was having a good day.  I had gotten busy and forgot to call her.  I felt so bad, and sent off a quick (lame) text instead.  
Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table cutting coupons and my teen age daughter left for the mall with a friend.  Without even looking up or making her stop for a kiss or hug, I let her leave with a mumbled good bye from the both of us.  
lame, I tell you!

When we had young kids we talked non stop, when we have older kids, we have to remind ourselves to pay more attention to what they are saying because the words come in code at times.  

Am I alone in this constant berating of my parent abilities?  
Funny how you never hear  many dad's sitting at lunch telling their guy buddies how they fear that they are a terrible parent and have such guilt over it all.  
Why do we do this to ourselves?

Then, this was a big surprise today, my Oh so sweet, and wonderful  21 year old daughter  posted this beautiful country song on my facebook page.  I just had to share.  I cried when I listened to the lyrics.  

I hope you are reading and in need of a big dose of encouragement too.  Sit back and listen to this wonderful song.

So give yourself a break today. And realize that they are hearing you, and learning, and knowing that you love them more than anything.
  Because in the end, isn't this what we are all hoping for? 


Carey said...

That's a beautiful song, and a great sentiment you wrote about.

Anonymous said...

You will know who I am, when I say, I listened to my daughter 's having posted all this and so say, I hope I too filled all of the shoes God gave me and hoped I listened, and really heard., forgive me if I did not. The song also made me cry, so thanks to you too.
Love, Anonymous,

Mary said...

Awww, you did awesome too Mom. X6!

Karen said...

Too many commas give our Momma away. :) That's awesome, Mary. I am so grateful for every day.. and I'm still giving the constant directions while trying to listen to teenagers. Whew. Someday I am sure I will miss it. :)